Saturday, March 10, 2012

Bedrock Bedazzle .


I awake, I find myself marooned, strewn, in the turbulence of a vast oceanic body. The hues are much bluer and darker as Im drawn deeper. Fighting water pressure of the battling currents and my given condition to be buoyant, I delve deeper. There is a flurry in the water. I dive deeper. I get a whiff, an ancient familiar smell. My course is littered with fragments. Little obstacles that brush against me as I pass by them. I examine them with my fingers. They are delicate, fragile and battered endlessly by time and tide. They are tattered the traces of my past. Good God! What are they doing here? They seem to be soiled by a greasy sanguine liquid like substance. Little bits and pieces of memorabilia are flying at me. I'm overwhelmed, thrown off course almost. The smell now triggers memories. Memories I've failed to process and analyse in detail in the past. I battle with my mind to remember, remember the exact time and period of the occurrence of these events. I keep racking my brain, but details are hard to come by. My windshield is fogged and repetitive wiping is only making it blurrier. The trail is thinning and resembling a tapering serpentine tail. I rummage and gather all the bits of my past in a frenzy, holding on pointlessly as I'm diving deeper. I must find some place to tuck them in. Im completely drenched. Whats the point of saving them. Archival! I must archive them. They must be looked at, studied.

I'm beginning to get frustrated. I reach a point where the bits and pieces that I hold on to no longer bring to mind memories. They are as good as blank. Or worse somebody else's. It's the feeling like violently flicking a poloroid picture waiting for the image to emerge. Waiting, still waiting. It feels like an eternity. The neurological signal in my mind which I didn't feel significant to mention owing to its low intensity is now beaming. It feels like a metallic needle possessed with insurgent electric charge is making its way winding and twisting into my neurological passages. This is now accompanied with alternating high and shrill frequencies. It only ceases when I resist calling upon the faculties of my mind. I must resist at all costs. But I cant stop now, the fragments are sizable now and even more crimson than before. I push the pain into the background and focus on my target below. I do it in the very same way I would throw away the rues of the world into a parallel sphere. Im completely aware of them but their existence is of no utter consequence to my survival. It is within this oblivious globe that I've lived all my years.

I've tampered too much with the modulator switch. It wont allow me to tune in to the frequency I'm comfortable with. Years of keeping them toned down are contributing to the impedence. It grows stronger,I dive deeper. I.. am losing the ability to converse with myself. I can no longer trust my mind. It is an able adversary. I battle a sinister, scheming mind. Able to conceive elaborate scenarios out of the mere thinness of air, more often than not turning out to be a devious ruse.I'm growing terribly suspicious. "Who would have thought? My mind? My trusted compatriot, my permanent log. Don't we consistently and often subconsciously confide with our minds.I begin to think that it wasn't a good idea. No one is to be trusted. No, not even one's mind. My brain is quaking and pulsating, growing to the size of a zeppelin. Stop! Stop! I must stop inflating it. I have to fight this buoyancy. I start kicking and screaming.

Below, in the depths, I see a a dark silhouette. Dancing to a ritualistic tune. Rhythmic beats,Inviting,feminine? ghoulish! A Siren cloaked with the pitch blackness of the deep im drawn into. Her hands are like extended batons, swinging wildly within the dark waters. She is the centre of attention,the star. Moonlight gleams on her as she conducts a whirlpool of an orcherstra. I rub my eyes, I cant see any clearer. I dive deeper. Only a few minutes now and I'll be there. Strange thing, my lungs feel as light as feathers coated with water resistant layer. My head is like a beacon now fighting the currents and trying to get me out of the water. The pain! the pain is incessant. Surprising,I feel numb. It is owing a sudden burst. There's copious release of a slow flowing liquid, it decends upon my head, cold like the feeling of first rains. The burst is deafening and there are wooden splinters all around. I have no cognizance of who I am now. I am dodging the fragments. They are much larger now. They are filled with a writing which now seems foreign to me. I bear no mind to them. I dive deeper. I see the mighty conductor and am pulled steadily to her. My brain can no longer take it.Tremendous pain. My skull gives! It cracks, and makes its way to the top as if it were some sort of a flare on its way to find help. It resembles a jellyfish making its way to the surface from the depths. "Farewell, you didn't serve me any reason to hold on to you anyway." Im only inches away from the conductor when it occurs to my that my pain has ceased. My word! Its stopped! Yet, I feel the need to unravel her enigma, to feel her touch. As if it would bring back to me my memories. That she possessed a kind of a mystery cure cannot be ruled out. All evidence suggests to that. If not,I may have led you to it myself. Then at last, my memories that would mean something to me. They wouldn't be random thoughts that I would have to synthesize, organize and make some sense out of them. I reach out. The music stops. Pitch black darkness. I'm on the the surface again, making my way down.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Forgotten

Where are we now
was yesterday a feather brush?
a blizzard in a snow-globe
shrinking dot in the rear view mirror
did i reminisce in memories we never had
you seem so happy, there never was we,
so was the longing a lie, the glint in your eye
would i be wrong if i call you friend
the moments we had, was all pretend
they lasted in brevity, yet seemed infinity
who changed the seasons, who changed the cast
who rained the heavens, who switched the mast
why i must be downcast, why must i grieve
for i never believed and no i never will
you will never let me drink from your holey grail
you shroud yourself in white and morning dew
you peak like an angel yet deal with the devil
Behold your wine is spilled,dogs gather at your feet,
How many a lover, how many a man, devoured
you could not cry, not even try
you couldn't see what haunted me.
what stole my slumber,what made brows sweat
It was fear, it was eventuality
a rose you gave me, a kiss on my cheek
Yet to my stoop you must return,
to pleasure , to pressure, to promise returns
then show me a vision, brilliance, incandescent
you light my eyes, you inspire me to defy,
what i know to be true, tested and tried
Yet i must rise,and i will rise
Futile it is , curse you and die
you fill my vessel with voluminous smoke
how can I end what begins again, how can i let it die
faithful to you i will remain, even if you pass me by.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Creation

I’m cornered by a silent still pressing need.
Burning insides of skin, tugging, scratching scrawling from within
Waited too long, it shouldn’t have come to this
Burdened, my mandate, my reason , my quest, clogged
Stopped stagnant, a celebration in muck, oozing with puss
The needs still there, in the warmth it resides,
Not harsh, but silent and still as ever , a tickle now
Pangs, rumbling roar, it beats, it kicks
My word its alive!
Tearing, threatening to divulge
To birth, to jettison , to excrete

Thursday, October 15, 2009

EMOTICON = :( HATE


HIYA :) Im soo happy today, ;) winky wink wink, :( im sad. etc etc

You sure wish i was feeling these emotions right now. The truth is im feeling the exactly opposite. Hah but im sure I had you fooled. No? Then you too would agree that emoticons don't mean nothing. Simply employed objectified pieces of emotion to aid , rather add to the credibility of conversation online. Now im beginning to trace who would have come up with this great awesome idea of simplifying emotions into a circle with few dots and a bendy lines. Im gonna get you! You've sure made a lot of money. First the greetings, scrapbooks, slambooks and whatnot and now online?
I strongly oppose the use of emoticons in your conversation online. Does :P even mean anything, or XD, or ;) or ;( or ^^. What the heck, if you think you can sit behind that computer of yours and send out a different emoticon every time there's awkwardness in the conversation or no credibility, you've got another thing coming mister. I aint gonna take this anymore. So stop sending me those smileys, hatleys etc. Coz If you do Im gonna come over and carve whatever emoticon I want over your face. Get it!!!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Visitor

longing long in the gray yield fields
the moon split glass with lunatic lunar ease
the whirring began as the spirits sang
a chorus tonight, lets all unite
Earth and element, imagination figment
then shone a light form from outer realm
all quaked with reverence,

the stranger is a visitor now
his coming was of old foretold
not in books but palms of men

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Sweet Dreams

Enter the magical realm of Dreams, where images and words seek expression and exit.Journey into the tormented artists mind. A video by Jason Samuel and Daniel Pinto.



Monday, August 3, 2009

Deep in the swamp...


Deep in the swamp, in knee deep marsh. We walked beyond the tell tale trees obscuring visions of a clear sun shinning day. We left hopes of quiet sunday when we jumped into the muck. They say these lands have taken many a man, swallowed countless floating shanties. The mist that shrouds the horizon leads to the gateway to a new day. Beware now I say the day is new. Mark my words, loud and clear. I do not say the grass shines greener , that milk and honey flow in the land the fills my periphery. Addition and subtraction take place behind translucent veils. We all like to play with Rubix cubes. If you think the woods are inviting, take a second guess. Damp living things decay and house a minion of sinister microgues. They reek an unfriendly scent, reminiscent of things that you ran away from. Things people leave in the swamp and wish that they would go away. The natives have stories about these moving lands. The river is a force that carries things that it wants to destined places, transporting land mass, floating frames of references. So don't complain, don't utter a word. You asked for this, you joined this expedition on your own. We signed the contract. Here it is Ill let you catch a glimpse of it to refresh your memory. But nothing more of it shall you have, no nothing more. What good is to look behind, to bath in the past when we seek to go to a new land. Behold the old is gone and we travel to a new dimension. We shall defy the limitations set by the defining dimensions, placed on you by us ourselves. There are certain places where we travel only by feet, deep in the swamp in knee deep marsh. The river clothes a secret below. I can feel it, my feet rub against it. The knowledge makes me feel wise but im left grasping on to a fleeting thought, played like a card by the ghosts of my imagination. We travel near and we travel far but the mist shall lead us to a land once more. We set our tent there, I lay my head knowing now that rest is temporal. I must begin my my day anew I cannot abandon hope for but few. A challenge rises and a challenge falls. We look ahead for another ball. When the day shall come to lay my sword, id lay still and heed the call. Remember Death is only a transition not the end!